Loving What Is

I know many Zaadsters are familiar with Byron Katie's brilliant therapeutic process called "The Work', as well as her book "Loving What Is: 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life" Today, Jeremiah's (zaadzster extraordinaire) words reminded me of the healing potential of loving what is via asking the 4 questions (below) and then turning them around. It is a way to own our projections and to create a more loving reality than the one that is based on our subjectivity. A succint review found on Amazon explains; Remember the phrase "question authority"? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority--but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships. Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you're angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen's behavior, or appalled at the state of the world's environment, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, "Is it true?" and continuing with explorations of "Who would you be without that thought?" this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is "turning the thought around," and at first this can seem like you're simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you'll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame. The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other's examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you'll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children. Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards--stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. --Jill Lightner The Work of Byron Katie Four Questions 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? 3. How do you react when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? And remember to turn it around. Yes, at first it can seem difficult to challenge my own assumptions. Particularly in my family of origin ,specifically, my dear ol' (alcoholic) dad, I often make assumptions about his feelings toward me when he is verbally abusive toward me. I compound the distance between us by creating a certain story about why he criticizes me that has everything to do with my "reality" rather than what is True with a captial T. If I step back and ask the 4 questions about my feelings in regards to his behavior I realize I am freer , and so i s he, when I let go of the story and just "Love What Is" and not personalize certain things,it is easier to feel compassion for both he and I. What a gift for both of us. Gotta keep doing the work and remembering to Love What Is. Thanks, Jeremiah. Namaste, Elena